It's nights like tonight that I want to get married. I want to meet someone, fall in love, and completely entwine myself into another person's life. I don't know how long this feeling will last, but it's thanks to my beautiful friend George and his marriage to his long-time partner Doug tonight, that I can safely say I love love.
George and Doug are really into the amateur theatre scene, so it was fitting that their wedding ceremony was held at the Arts Theatre. When I arrived, I couldn't see one person that I knew, so I sort of loitered around in the foyer. There was a matinee show on at the theatre prior to the wedding, so there was a moment there where people were going in different directions as the audience from the show were leaving. Because I was alone, I chose to sit basically at the back, just behind everyone else.
I have known George for around 25 years. He's a little bit older than me, and we met when he worked for a woman who was in the same line of work as my mother. My whole friendship group was made up of staffers, and George and I were very close. Over the years, the time we spend together has lessened, but the love is still there, and we usually catch up around my birthday.
I actually don't know his husband Doug all that well, but I know he is an absolute sweetie. As I understand it, he's a social worker, and his passion is the theatre. I like Doug because he said he was impressed I managed to get all the addresses for all the heads of government and Chief Justices from every country of the world. I feel he really understood how big a task that was.
George works at an NGO in public health. On George’s 40th birthday, which was a few years ago, I sent him a singing telegram dressed as a chicken to his workplace. Interestingly, when I was arranging the telegram, I first contacted a woman who does them, and it was going to be a 40-degree day or something. She told me she could do the job as a chicken but would need to get changed into the costume in the toilets at George’s workplace.
I initially agreed, but then I contacted another performer who said he would arrive already dressed as the chicken. So I called the woman back and told her she had lost my business. I understand it was hot, but if you’re going to do singing telegrams as a job, you need to be aware of the occupational hazards. It’s also incredibly unprofessional to get changed in the recipient’s workplace bathroom.
As the show got started, the celebrant walked on stage, and she was giving off awesome vibes. So many of George and Doug's friends were from the theatre, either actors or crewing, as they say. They started going crazy as the celebrant announced the wedding party and then George and Doug. There was lots of cheering and yelling out—it was really beautiful.
It was the first wedding I've been to like that. The wedding party were all wearing black, each with a different coloured waistcoat that had been specially made. As this wedding unfolded, I was reminded of the shameful time Benjamin Netanyahu spoke to Congress. He would say two words and everyone would stand up and clap. There was a lot more noise at this wedding, though.
You can see below as George and Doug were saying their vows.
After the very interactive formalities were over, Doug sang to George. He sang that Tina Turner song, "You're the Best," but he did a slow version of it. George was crying, I was crying, I think everybody was crying—it was truly beautiful. After a group photo with all the guests in the theatre, we were led outside to the front of the Royal Theatre, which is just next door to the Arts Theatre.
I thought I didn't know anyone and was surprised I didn’t see anyone else from our crazy times in our 20s until I heard a voice call out my name. It was my old friend Katrina. She was talking to Louise, who I knew a bit, and they were talking to Vanessa, who was the wife of a Federal Minister. Interestingly, her husband wasn’t invited to the wedding, and neither was Katrina’s.
Anyway, the feeling I got when I saw Katrina was disappointment. I have gained so much weight; I look fat, haggard, and old. I hate it when you haven't seen someone in over ten years, and then they ask what you've been up to. I absolutely hate it. Vanessa was nice, but Katrina and Louise are very judgy, and while Katrina and I used to be very good friends and have a lot of memories together, I know she always looked down on me because I hadn't finished a degree. I was also working as a temp while most of these guys had high-paying jobs. Katrina ended up working for one of the Prime Ministers.
The four of us decided to go for a drink at the pub before the reception. I agreed to go purely because I didn’t know anyone else, but I knew it would be one of those conversations where they all talk about their children and their good jobs and sort of pity me a little. I really liked the Minister’s wife Vanessa; she was really cool. I actually like her husband too, although I’ve never met him. I avoided talking about myself like the plague. I’ve become very good at it, but it just goes to show how uncomfortable these sorts of people make me feel. I spent my entire youth comparing myself and my failures to them, both occupationally and personally.
I never thought Katrina would get married. She is a beautiful woman, but she was so career-focused. Now she has a husband and three kids, and she lives in Sydney. She’s still got an awesome job but is out of politics. I really didn’t say much, but then they started talking about a woman I know, someone they all used to work with. Louise made a comment that she didn’t even own the two-bedroom unit she lives in. She really emphasised "unit," trying to degrade the woman. I just looked at her like, "What the actual fuck are you talking about?" She looked away, and I just thought, I need to not be here. I need this to be over.
Louise had received an invitation to the ceremony but not to the reception. I was pleased. She said she would drop us off at the reception, so she led us to her car. It was a blue BMW, and when I got inside, it had these leather seats. I knew that she hadn’t just bought one of those crappy older models. She talked about her house in Netherby and how her children go to Mercedes College, and it all just seemed so pretentious.
When we arrived at the Festival Theatre for the reception, I was not on the same table as Katrina and Vanessa. I was seated at the same table as Roz, who is the daughter of one of Mum's friends. I like Roz. When Mum and her friend Nadine—Roz's mother—go to the theatre, they sometimes take Roz and me. She is part of the theatre crowd, which is how she knows George and Doug. She likes a drink, and she is very outgoing.
I wasn’t drinking tonight; I wasn’t in the mood at all. But I still loved love, and I said to Roz, "This makes me want to get married," and she said she felt the same way. Roz is a few years younger than me, but like me, she doesn’t have any kids, and she doesn’t have a partner. She also doesn’t want kids. She has the loudest laugh, and she is incredibly loud in general.
I was sitting next to her tonight, and I was thinking she really is a legend. I used to be a bit more like that—not to her extent, but I used to be loud and outgoing. Now the confidence isn’t entirely gone; I just feel the need to be a bit quieter in my ways. Roz and I were on the 9-to-5 table. You can see the centrepiece below. You can also see the little biscuit that we got at our place settings.
Before I went, I said to Mum that I was wearing the badge to show my support for the LGBTQI community. Then, as Mum was dropping me off at the Arts Theatre, she said to me, "Did you say that that badge means you are gay?"
My jaw dropped. Was my mother asking me if I was gay? I didn’t mind at all; I was just shocked she would think that, based on the fact I have recently told her about my attraction toward a number of men.
I told her that I was wearing the badge because the invitation said to wear some colour, and also because I wanted to wear something rainbow. My bag was also a metallic rainbow-coloured bag.
If you think about it, it’s not completely unrealistic that my mother—or maybe other members of my family—might think I’m gay. I have been single for such a long time, and I don’t date at all. I suppose the other side of that is, if I were gay, I would have a girlfriend—or maybe I wouldn’t want one of those either.
The speeches were truly beautiful. With the theatre crowd, people were going off. Below you can see George and Doug during their first dance together.
I didn't catch the song they were dancing to. If I ever get married, I want to have my first dance to Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. If the man I’m marrying objects, I also like Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis.
Tonight was a good night. I’m so happy that George got to marry Doug, and it’s about time that it’s legal.
During the ceremony, you would have seen that they were wearing white waistcoats, and for the reception, they were wearing rainbow-coloured ones. They weren’t new waistcoats—they were made especially, and they are double-sided.
Below, you can see the awesome rainbow-coloured waistcoats.
Below, you can see the wedding I want to recreate if I ever fall in love and we decide to walk down the aisle. I just might need to find a way to make sure I don’t get electrocuted.
