Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that the following post contains the names and stories of people who have passed away.
Yesterday was the Fourth of July, and it was also my auntie's birthday. Mum asked me to arrange flowers to be sent to her unit, so I called Blooms Florist at Mum's request. Mum has been using them for over thirty years, so when I mentioned her name, they knew her. I told the florist that I was happy with "florist's choice" up to the value of $150. She then said something like, "Leave it with me, I'll put together a nice bunch."
Whenever I say "florist's choice," I am placing a huge amount of trust in the florist—that they can use their creative and artistic instincts to produce something magical. Something that is going to blow the receiver away. I know when Mum has sent me flowers from Blooms, they have been beautifully coloured, whimsical-looking arrangements that I simply love having in the house.
But today I was very disappointed. It's actually the second time in a short period of time that I have been let down by a florist—first Tynte Street Flowers, and now Blooms. Below you can see the flowers my auntie received for her birthday, and I don't mean to be overly critical, but I feel like they would have just depressed her and not provided any birthday joy.
The thing with this problem is, I’ve never really made good use of time overnight. Lately, I’ll write in this blog, but mostly I’ll binge-watch a show or watch YouTube. It’s pretty lonely, to be honest — there’s no one else awake. But I have got Maiki in Tanzania; the time difference makes it easy for us to talk. Less so my brother in London — we sometimes send each other WhatsApp messages. The other night I sent him a message at around 3:00am and asked what he thinks of Aboriginal deaths in custody. This is how he responded:
The young Aboriginal man I am talking about recently died after being restrained by police in Alice Springs. His name was Kumanjayi White, a 24-year-old Warlpiri man from the community of Yuendumu. He was living in supported accommodation under the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) due to treatment-resistant schizophrenia and a frontal lobe impairment — conditions that affected his memory and impulse control.
On May 27, 2025, Mr White was at a Coles supermarket in Alice Springs when he was allegedly involved in an altercation with security guards after placing items down his shirt. Two plainclothes police officers restrained him, and witnesses reported that one officer had his knee behind Mr White’s head during the restraint. Mr White lost consciousness during the incident and was later pronounced dead at Alice Springs Hospital.
The NT Police have declined calls for an independent investigation into the death of Kumanjayi White. Acting NT Police Commissioner Martin Dole stated that the investigation would be conducted internally by the NT Police's Major Crime Division, asserting confidence in their oversight systems and describing them as "robust and well-established."
That is a fucking joke. This incident absolutely requires an independent inquiry, and it just makes my blood curdle that they are allowed to get away with this. No one cares. It’s like the Palestinians — they are in the way. No one cares about the Aboriginal people, about Aboriginal deaths in custody, or anything at all. I shouldn’t say that — of course, some people care — but we, as a people, we as Australians, are racist, and we are all complicit in this type of thing because we allow it to happen and are satisfied with the consequences.
My heart bleeds for Kumanjayi White. This country — and indeed this world — was not set up to nurture people like him, and I feel shame to call myself Australian, where we would allow something like this to happen.
I don’t really know anything about Aboriginal deaths in custody. I know there was a Royal Commission over thirty years ago, and I am going to read up more about this. This incident with Kumanjayi White has caught my attention, and I feel compelled to act in some way — which I will. First, I’ve got to work out what I want to do.
My brother identified this as a controversial topic that has nothing to do with me personally. I disagree with that wholeheartedly. This has everything to do with me, and every single responsible person alive today. Because not only was his death a crime against the laws of the Northern Territory and Australia, it was a crime against the very humanity we so wrongly pride ourselves on.
It is the duty of all people to speak up when injustice has been done — to make noise, in whatever way we see fit, until someone listens. I think I’m going to write letters. And lots of them. Because I feel for that young man. It’s bad enough that these things happen, but the really bad bit is how we allow them to happen. Over and over again.
In my opinion the NT Police are racist murderers.
My brother didn’t respond to my response, so I sent him another message that said:
I have a flaw which I don’t live openly with. No one really knows about it, and anyone who does — such as family members my mother told — I do not associate with at all. I don’t like the way I’ve been treated by the family members who do know about it, so I will not have anyone in my life who knows, apart from my mother, brother, and Rebecca.
I could go a whole lifetime in a friendship or relationship with someone and they would never know about it — but because it’s there, it’s a game changer. I am confident in myself and my abilities to look after my mother, and I am damn well going to do that if it comes to that. Funny thing is though, sometimes when I meet people, I feel like I’m lying by omission by not telling them about the flaw. It’s been a journey of acceptance and maturity, but I think I’ve finally found the way to live with it.
After my brother talked about Mum for quite some time, we got back onto the topic of Aboriginal deaths in custody. I told him why I was interested in it, and he started saying things like, “We are not responsible for what the colonisers did,” “I am not responsible for what my great-great-grandfather did,” “I should not have to pay compensation to the children of victims — or the children’s children.”
I talked about the invasion, and you know what he said? “Well, we won.”
He talked about the amount of tax he pays in the UK — I think it’s around 46% — and how the government is telling him that half the time he spends away from his family is worth it to pay that tax for things like council housing and their equivalent of the dole. He brought up tax because he linked it back to Aboriginal deaths in custody, asking what I wanted to happen as a result of it, to which I responded: I want it not to happen.
He then went on to ask, “How much tax is it going to cost us all?” He asked if “Aboriginal people are not responsible for their crimes.” Then he moved on to Palestine. He told me he “liked where my heart is” but that “that’s not the way it is.” That is so fucking condescending, but I copped it because I didn’t want to get into a fight.
I said we are allowing a genocide to happen, and he just went on saying, “No we are not — who is going to stop it?” And I’ll tell you right now who could stop it: the United States of America. They can stop arming and supporting Israel while they ethnically cleanse an entire population of people to a global audience.
My brother suggested that he didn’t care. He basically said everything I say is what he hates about the West — and that I’m apologetic for being from the West. He then went on to say he wants to go and live on an island with all the people who don’t care about these things, and all the do-gooders like me can fight each other out.
Just like my auntie would have found those flowers, I find my brother really depressing.
Does he genuinely not care about these things?
He’s a massive snob too. He told me about the cost of private education in London — which is a lot more than here — and said he had to pay it because he didn’t want his son going to school with “council children.”
I love him, but we could not be more different.
So I’ve been open and transparent with Mum about what my brother and I have been saying about her. All along, I’ve said that I don’t think she has Alzheimer’s or dementia. She can’t have it. But if, for some unknown reason, she does — I will devote my life to ensuring her comfort, dignity, and quality of life.
A former Beauty and the Geek Australia contestant, Tamika Sueann-Rose Chesser, has been charged with the alleged murder and decapitation of her partner in Port Lincoln. Chesser, 34, was a runner-up on the 2010 season of the reality TV show and has since worked as a model and OnlyFans creator.
On June 19, 2025, emergency services responded to a small fire at the couple’s home on Flinders Highway. Inside, they discovered the dismembered and partially burned body of 39-year-old Julian Story. His head was missing and remains unrecovered despite extensive searches across the Eyre Peninsula. Chesser was found in a catatonic state in the backyard and was arrested at the scene. She has been charged with murder, interfering with human remains to pervert the course of justice, and assaulting a police officer. She is currently detained under a mental health order and is scheduled to appear in court again in December 2025.
It sounds to me like Tamika may have had some sort severe episode — and this horrible thing has happened. It’s so sad, of course, for Julian, but also for her, because her life has changed forever.
I think the media have been really insensitive when reporting on this case — almost making a joke of Julian’s decapitation. A lot of it has been in really poor taste.
I'll finish on a high note. The other day I was looking through the Jam Factory's online shop and I found these sterling silver Adelaide Festival Centre 50th Anniversary Brooches designed by Jam Factory Studio artists Kath Inglis and Danielle Barrie. The moment I saw one of them, I knew I had to have one so I ordered it the other day. Below you can see the cool box and the brooch itself.
