Sheikh It Up!

In my last post I talked a lot about Jesus. I love talking about Jesus, especially to Christians. I could sit for hours and speculate about him, his thoughts and beliefs. I also thought a little about wanting to live my life the way Jesus would want me to live it.

I thought about volunteering in emergency relief with one of the social service organisations. That would involve assessing people for eligibility for food parcels and vouchers. I also considered volunteering making callbacks for an organisation that works with offenders, and to become a Lifeline telephone counsellor.

Well, I contacted a number of organisations about emergency relief and they sent me their application forms. One of the first questions is, “Do you have a criminal record?” Whenever I see that, I want to scream. I want to go to a cliff somewhere, stand at the edge, and scream at the top of my lungs.

Yes, I have a criminal conviction for using my mobile phone while driving. I’m sure it would be fine with these sorts of organisations, but it’s the justifying, the almost begging. The conviction puts me at a disadvantage. As soon as I say it, people think differently of me. I have to claw my way back to equal footing with other volunteer applicants. That really put me off applying.

The criminal justice organisation that works with offenders, didn’t even get back to me, and I’m betting they also ask about recorded convictions.

I am going to do Lifeline telephone counselling though. I love being on the phones, and I think I could be effective in that role.

Speaking of loving being on the phones, there was this alternate life unfolding at the same time. You’ll recall that as well as all the volunteer aspirations, I recently applied for a job at the Red Cross Lifeblood call centre.

I found out late last week that I made it through to the next round. I couldn’t believe it when I got the email; I thought my conviction would exclude me for sure. The next stage is an assessment centre next Monday and Tuesday. Apparently we will receive an email this week and book in for one of the days.

I wanted this job so badly because I believe in the mission of the Red Cross. I love how, in war, people are supposed to stop combat when they see the Red Cross symbol. I love that when hostages are returned you will always see the Red Cross’s presence in the exchange. I love that the Red Cross can link up family members who have been lost to each other through migration or war, and I love everything the Red Cross stands for.

But if I were offered this job, I absolutely cannot take it. I can see my life going one of two ways. I take the job and get caught up in the culture of the Red Cross, maybe make team leader one day, and live out my days in the call centre. There is nothing wrong with that. Working in a call centre is a dignified job with value and integrity that contributes to society and communication in a powerful and understated way. But for me, I am an artist.

I want to change the world through letters. I want to make vessels on a pottery wheel, blow sculptures at the furnace, make installations, and paint ridiculous paintings that no one will probably ever see. It is now, at this intersection of my seemingly pathetic existence, that I can see what would happen if I accepted a job somewhere like the Red Cross. My artwork would take a back seat and I would never even try to do what I want to do.

So that’s it. I applied a while ago for the Bachelor of Fine Arts at the new Adelaide University, and I will find out this Thursday if I got into the course. I think I will, and if I do I am going to jump on it. No more procrastination. Letters, glassblowing, any medium I can find to express myself. And there is so much I want to say.

So now that I have devoted my life to being an artist, I need a muse. And I’ve got one: Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani, the Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs of Qatar. You can see his photo below.

U.S. Department of State / Chuck Kennedy — Public Domain (via Wikimedia Commons).

The Sheikh is one year older than me, and of course I wouldn’t compare our lives because they are so different, but I like him. In fact, I can safely say he has awakened a part of me that has been dormant for a very long time. I haven’t really found a man attractive in nearly 13 years, but I think he is gorgeous. He is a mediator, a peacemaker, and he embodies everything I think Qatar stands for. I am addicted to watching interviews with him and reading articles about the work that he does, and there is no other way to put it: I am inspired.

In the same way that the Sheikh quietly and confidently changes the world with the deals and negotiations he brokers, I want to use artwork to change people’s perspective and offer an alternative way of thinking. Through learning about the Sheikh I have learned a lot about Qatar, and I’ve decided to go there and offer artwork, offer my heart and soul.

I don’t know whether the Sheikh has multiple wives, but I’d love to be one of them—to spend time with him, to learn, and to be inspired. But he would never be interested in me, because the reality is I’m too old for a man like that and I am not a beautiful woman. He also might already have enough wives.

I know it’s not realistic to talk like that, but I did really think about it for a minute there, and I don’t totally oppose the idea of a man having multiple wives. In fact, it would work really well for me because it would take the pressure off. I wouldn’t have to spend 24/7 with my husband, but I would also know that when he is with another wife he would be loved and looked after.

Something else that inspires me about the Sheikh is I think he comes from quite a wealthy family and he wouldn’t have to work. He could just enjoy a luxurious lifestyle and keep a low profile. But he wants to make a difference, he wants to save lives, inspire peace and represent Qatar on the world stage. Also, from what I’ve seen, he is incredibly down to earth. You can see another photo of him below.

Chatham House — CC BY 2.0 (via Wikimedia Commons).

I know I'll never get to meet the Sheikh but I have met two Australian prime ministers: John Howard and Tony Abbott. Below you can see a photo of former prime minister Tony Abbott and me.

While I’m announcing plans of study and musedom, I must share another significant decision I have made since I last wrote. I recently talked about going to Melbourne to watch the Chief Justice speak so I would hopefully have a chance to meet him after his speech. I booked my ticket, flights and accommodation, but then it became crystal clear to me: I just cannot face him. I cannot meet this judge or any judge. And that’s okay.

I would never meet a judge in my day to day life, and I don’t feel any external pressure that I’ll ever have to. I thought it might be a way of letting go of all the residual judge baggage I carry, but that’s not the way to do it. I don’t know if there will ever be a day when I feel like I want or need to meet with a judge. I can lightheartedly say, that if I ever do have to meet a judge again, I hope it’s not across the bench in a courtroom for another criminal act, which I’m sure it won’t be.

I like Chris Kourakis, though. I can’t wait to send him my bound oaths; that will be enough for me. I hope he likes them. The judge is different to my muse, and I am done lusting after judges, but I can see how women would find him incredibly sexy. 

On the topic of the law, Adelaide barrister Marie Shaw KC is in the headlines again, allegedly after leaving court files unattended at the McDonald’s in Croydon. According to The Advertiser, the files were left on a table while she was away. It is said to be the second incident at the same venue.

In the first incident, The Advertiser reported that she placed documents on the ground of the McDonald’s car park at about 6.30 pm on April 14, 2024, stepped over them, got into her car and drove away. The paper further reported that two women with no connection to Ms Shaw then took the files, which SA Police recovered two days later.

If that reporting is accurate, I struggle to understand how she could let that happen twice. We rely on people like her to safeguard sensitive material. I was also struck by the setting — a senior KC at Maccas — I take my hat off to that.

Recently my brother and I were talking about an extinct species of bird, Haast’s eagle. It lived on New Zealand’s South Island. Māori traditions say it could attack or even carry off people before going extinct in the 1400s.

I was reminded of that conversation because there was this awful tragedy near Yunta. This beautiful little boy, Gus, went missing on his family’s station. The police say he wandered off and they did a full scale search for around a week, then scaled it back, obviously believing he had perished somewhere on the property. It’s so sad. I personally think he was kidnapped, because he couldn’t just disappear into thin air, and there were so many people searching that it seems impossible they didn’t find him.

But I’ve been talking to Mum today and she told me she’d read online that some people believe an eagle took him. I looked at her and the words just fell out of my mouth: “What the fuck is wrong with people?” My mother, to my astonishment, seemed to think it was a possibility. I believe in the impossible, but I don’t believe an eagle took Gus. He is a four year old boy; I don’t think an eagle could even take a baby. But Mum said eagles have taken lambs. Regardless, even if an eagle did take him, I think the poor little angel’s fate would be the same, and it’s just not fair.